


Waiting

by iloveitblue



Series: Not a prompt [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 11:09:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1646465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Clint is kept waiting</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gwynhefar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwynhefar/gifts).



Clint walked down the helicarrier as stares dug through his back. The events of the Chitauri attack still fresh in the minds of the SHIELD agents. Honestly though he couldn’t blame them. Heck, he even blamed himself. He  _was_  the reason why Loki was able to escape.

He did know  _someone_  who wouldn’t blame him for anything. The one man that showed him he could be whatever he wanted to be. The one man who gave him the chance he needed. The man who gave him a new life. And the man Clint wants to spend the rest of his life with.

He took a deep breath, holding on to the velvet box he hid in his pocket. He knocked on the door but there was no answer. Clint turned the knob only to find the office empty. He sat on the couch that he unofficially claimed and waited for Coulson to come back.

and waited.  _and waited._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Phil is alive

Clint ran down the medical wing, not caring if he bumped into anybody or anything. All he knew was that he had to get to Phil. 

He’d been knocked out when Phil was stabbed. And the  _good Director_  had thought it necessary to keep the news of Coulson’s injuries from him until the battle was over. 

As if that made it any easier to deal with.

At least if he’d known before the battle he could have channeled all this misery to any and all of Loki’s army but now…

Now he was running to where they were holding Phil. Hoping, praying,  _begging_  to all deities that Coulson is okay.

Panting and sweating, Clint stopped in front of Phil’s room. Now what? Was he just supposed to enter like this wasn’t his fault at all? Like he had any right to see Phil?

And just like that, the stares were back. He could feel them, stabbing him. The looks that used to show respect, they were now nothing but blame.

_This is all on you._

_You let Loki take control of you._

_Why didn’t you resist?_

_Your arrows are the reason why half of us are in here._

_You didn’t deserve a second chance._

Clint could hear them all; and he believed every single one of them. He was the reason why everything had gone FUBAR. His arrows had injured and killed his fellow agents.  _He didn’t deserve a second chance._

Clint’s hand hovered on the knob. He couldn’t do it. He can’t see Coulson. Not when he knows he doesn’t have the right. He never did.

The door swung open and Clint looked up to see one good eye sizing him up. “Are you coming in or not, Agent Barton?” Fury asked even as he stepped aside.

Clint entered the room wordlessly. Taking it in, it was all too horrible. Phil was lying unconscious on the cot. Tubes and bandages wrapped around his chest, bloody and dirty. An oxygen mask, on his mouth pushing air in and out of his lungs. He just looked so  _broken_ and Clint knew that this was all his fault.

Clint’s saving grace to all of this was the small machine beside the cot beeping a steady rhythm, declaring for all intents and purposes, that Phil was alive. 

"We’ll give you some time alone." Fury said, motioning to the doctor checking Phil’s vitals. With a soft click of the door, he was alone with Phil. 

He walked up to the cot and practically fell on his knees beside the only man he ever truly loved. He held Phil’s hand close to his face and quietly sobbed. “Phil…” he said, his voice sounding far too wrecked even for his own ears.

"I’m so sorry…" He squeezed Phil’s hand a little tighter and brought it to his lips. There was nothing he could do now.

And then the hand twitched. Clint looked at it, then to Phil, then to the monitors who were still beeping that same steady beat. Clint was about to dismiss it as mind games, when the hand twitched again. Clint stared at the hand for a long moment before squeezing it again. This time, Phil held on.

Clint stood up and looked over Phil’s face for any sign of life. He waited. and waited until Phil’s eyes started to flutter open. They weren’t even open all the way, but Clint was still glad to see those same blue eyes look back at him.

They were clouded now, obviously still disoriented from the drugs, Phil still managed to find Clint. He was always good at that. “Clint…” He said, voice harsh and unnoticeable if you didn’t know what sound to look for. Then he smiled the tiniest bit - not a quirk of the lips,  _a smile_  - before he said “‘M glad your back” He squeezed Clint’s hand one more time before his eyes fluttered close again. Leaving Clint to the sound of the whirring machines once more.

It shouldn’t be this easy. Nothing involving Phil should have ever been easy. But just like he always did, Phil had yet again defied the odds, and with one simple smile, he made Clint feel forgiven. 

Clint didn’t let go of Phil’s hand. Not until he was pushed aside by the doctors. He wanted to stay with Phil. He’ll always stay with Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Can be found here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/86809576641/sims-crashed-on-me-just-when-i-finished-building)

**Author's Note:**

> [Find this on Tumblr here](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/84084284318/clint-walked-down-the-helicarrier-as-stares-dug)


End file.
